Behaviors of a
Healthy Family System

A healthy family system is desirable. Here we look at ninecritical dimensions from a family perspective.

Membership / tenure

Inclusion in the family system is automatic, based upon birth, marriage, adoption, etc. Membership almost always for life (unless members do something to alienate themselves.)

Authority

Leadership shifts among family members, depending upon the situation. There is no overwhelming need for any person to feel that they must be in charge.

Decision making

Decision-making authority shifts according to the situation. Parents maintain a unified position vis-à-vis the children.

Reporting relationships

Expectations regarding authority and accountability in the family continually shift according to the specific situation. It ispossible for the orientation to reverse in certain situations(e.g., parents may become accountable to children).Job definition / roles

People have "titles" according to marriage or birth, but the tasks they are expected to perform are determined in accordance with each person's capabilities. Relationships vis-à-vis others shifts according to the situation and over time.

Priorities

Each individual's long-range goal takes precedence, to theextent that it does not undermine the legitimate needs orinterest of other members of the family.Goals / performance evaluation criteria

Goals are informal, evolving around personal hopes and aspirations. They may be explicit and clearly defined, but there is no rigid, formal performance evaluation process. Goals focus on individual and collective growth, rather than subserviently serving the family system.

Rewards

Emphasize love and nurturing from other family members, and provide greater freedom for self-actualization.

Longevity

The family will always exist as a family, but the goal is to separate and have the children start their own nuclear families.

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